Family

Part of me doesn't want to write these blogs about the last days of my Spanish life. Because writing makes things real. Just like sometimes people don't want to talk about things...because somehow we think that if we don't acknowledge something, if we don't have that difficult conversation about it or if we don't write it down, then maybe it never really happened. But avoidance is not the way I want to experience leaving Spain or the way I want to live my life. So here it is. :)

All of my American girlfriends and I got together in Spain a couple of weeks before I left to go to the US. There are six of us in the group (left-right): Ashley, me, Alicia, Katelyn, Amanda, and Joanna.





We have all been living in the Huelva province for the past nine months, and I am so thankful for each one of them. These women have become family to me.

We enjoyed tasty fajitas and delicious Spanish white wine and lots of reminiscing about our favorite moments of Spain. Most awkward moments, most frustrating moments, most exciting moments -- they were all relived. Amanda having her foot broken, me with the dreaded taxi strike at Christmas, all of us traveling to Lagos together...it was really fun to talk about the past nine months with people who have been there through every step of the way. :) And Joanna so thoughtfully and sweetly created a slide show of our time in Spain -- she literally took pictures from all of our facebook photo albums and formed a huge slide show beginning in September and going all the way up until now. It was incredibly thoughtful and touching, and needless to say we were all teary-eyed by the end of it. :)

I love these women so much, and I am so thankful that they have become a part of my life. I think back to this time last year, or even, before this time. I think back to March of 2009, and how unhappy I was with my life. Everything I had planned and figured out for my life was not happening. Graduate programs were rejecting me, my long-term dating relationship had ended...I had no idea what to do. And to think now of how much my life has changed, and for the better, is incredible. And if those difficult and challenging things had not happened, if God had not taken away some of the good things in my life, I never would have been blessed with something better. And I am just so incredibly thankful for these past nine months and the family I have been able to share them with. :) I am going to miss these women an unreal amount, but I'm learning that it is better to meet new people and be away from them for some period of time then to never have met them at all. As painful as it can be, that is what growth and change and real life is all about. And as they say, "You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.” And I am certain that I will carry these ladies, my family, in my heart forever.



With immense gratitude,
Brittany

Road trip (Euro style!)!

I don't know about you, but one of my secret desires had always been to take a road trip...European style. So when my dear friend Joanna suggested that we rent a car and hop over to Lisbon (Lisboa), Portugal for a few days, I was ECSTATIC! We quickly booked a hostel and rented the car, and last Monday-Wednesday, Joanna and I explored Portugal! This was honestly one of the most fun and interesting trips I have ever taken -- Portugal is such a beautiful country, and its character and personality remind me a lot of Spain (which I think largely contributes to why I like Portugal so much). :)

Jo was our driver (since I have no idea how to drive stick)...




And after enjoying the green fields and mountains of Portugal, we arrived at our beautiful hostel (I definitely recommend it if you are travleing to Lisbon -- it's the Traveler's Inn)!



The next day was full of exploring the plazas and side streets of Lisbon...








After walking through the thick heat and steep hills, we were surprised by the breath-taking views of Lisbon and a well-hidden, but also well-worth the hunt, flea market! The flea market was fantastic -- a true random mixture of everything from buttons to boxers to t-shirts to battered and well-traveled suitcases. Jo and I spent a bit of time meandering through the streets, taking pictures, and purchasing small things here and there from the vendors. :)









And as in most European cities, there is a castle in Lisbon. :) The castle in Lisbon is located on the very top of a huge hill, so you must truly work for the views....but they are always worth it in the end. This castle wasn't as impressive as some -- not as big or ornate as some of the other places we have seen -- but the views were amazing. Lisbon, from the bird's eye, really reminds me of a mixture of Florence and a Spanish city. Red and orange colored roofs fill the landscape of the city while hills and a river below occupy the remaining space. Although the weather was HOT the day we traveled, we were fortunate for such a blue-skyed and sunny day -- it was truly the best kind of day for seeing the city and taking pictures. :) After enjoyed the views, we (of course) had to take some silly pictures along the way...






After the castle and a quick bite to eat, we headed back to the hostel to freshen up for a minute. This was our plan: Change clothes, rush to the huge steel elevator in Lisbon (which is known for amazing city views) and have a drink at the top of the elevator before it closes. We successfully changed clothes and made it to the elevator before 9pm (closing time), but for some reason the elevator wasn't in operation when we arrived. Regardless, the views of the city from the higher up floor of the building (where you board the elevator) were still beautiful.





The night was filled with delicious drinks and making many new friends -- we met hilarious Germans, sweet Portuguese men, and at the end, a fun-loving and, as the British would say, "fit" group of guys. The nightlife was surprisingly alive considering that we were out on a Tuesday night, but maybe the Portuguese are like the Spanish -- if there are people, there is always a party. :)










Wednesday we hopped over to a couple of stores close to our hostel (H&M!), and then made the 3.5 hour trip back home. Joanna and I were truly so blessed with this trip -- our hostel was nice, the weather was beautiful, and everything was just easy. Besides one minor turn-around and having to pay an 18 Euro toll (twice), we didn't have any major problems. I'm sad that I won't have more of those random European weekend trips when I return home, but more than being sad, I am thankful for all of the good times I have had. I hope and pray that when I return home I keep this attitude of openness and desire to make the most of every opportunity put before me -- for there are incredible things to explore at home in the United States and even in our own hometowns too, if we will only seek them out. :)



Keep on exploring,
Brittany :)

Connecting the dots

"it was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decision I ever made...Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forwards, but it was very, very clear looking backwards...Again, you can't connect the dots looking forwards, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference." -Steve Jobs, Apple and Pixar CEO

If you find this quote somewhat compelling and interesting, I encourage you check out Steve Jobs' entire speech at the link below. My dear friend Whitney shared a TED talk with me once, and I found (or rather God showed me) this really interesting and inspiring speech today. It really helps me make sense of a lot of my time here in Spain, and I hope it encourages you in some way too. :)

Steve Jobs: How to live before you die | Video on TED.com

Oh...and on another happy note, Joanna and I have decided to take a last-minute road trip to Lisbon, Portugal today! We'll be back on Wednesday, so be on the look out for a blog about that soon. ;)

I hope you are enjoying lots of sun and love...and know that I love you so much!

Be adventurous,
Brittany :)

Cheers!

As most of you know by now, drinking in Spain is sincerely a part of the culture here. Going to drink a cervecita (little beer) is just as common and accepted as going to drink a coffee. That being said, I want to do a somewhat different entry: This is a toast. A toast to you, dear Espana, and all of the somewhat peculiar things about you that I have gotten use to and will somehow miss....

To having all the children/teachers stare at my purple reusable water bottle at school as though it just fell on planet earth from Mars. One teacher even asked if I had just water in my bottle "no wine or liquor?" "Really?" I thought to myself. "At school?"

To being called RUBIA. It's basically my new name.

To cat calls/random pickup lines. Best two I've gotten so far: "Dame tu boca" (translation: Give me your mouth) and "I want to make you a ham and cheese sandwich."

To knowing that if I wear any flip-flop/thong sandals in public, my feet will be stared at...or if I'm with Spanish people I know, they will stare at my feet and then promptly ask me if I just came from the beach.

To knowing that if I have ANY skin exposed, despite the 75 degree weather outside, it's pretty much a 100% guarntee that an old woman at the bus stop, a teacher at school, or some random stranger in the street will comment "que fresca!" (meaning "how chilly!").

To introducing myself as "Brittany...como Britney Spears" to ensure proper pronunciation of my name. I shall forever be tied to the American pop queen. :)

To regularly seeing women/children donned in flamenco outfits and watching random processions in the small streets.


To having people boldly give their opinions of my Spanish skills...in front of me and others.

To accepting the fact that most stores in Spain close for siesta and random unexpcted holidays...and then getting really excited when I realize things are open (abierto!).


To viewing intense make out sessions on the bus, on the beach...basically any public place is free game.

To expecting to hear "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!" when I tell a new Spanish person that I'm from America.

So here's to Spain...the country that will forever have my heart, odd pickup lines, water bottle comments, feet stares, and all. And that, my dear reader, is the definition of true love. :)



Salud! (Cheers!)
Brittany

A little bit of everything

Grabbing my hand, I wondered what he was doing.

"And you..." Juan Javier began as he slowly spun me around. My white dress flowed outward, billowing with air as I turned. "You are wonderful today!"

It's moments like these that make me wonder why I am ever leaving this wonderful place and these amazing people that I now call home. Juan Javier is truly the most amazing and kind principal and boss that I have ever been blessed to know, and I cannot thank God enough for him.

As I mentioned in my previous blog, two weekends ago the girlfriends and I explored Granada. Granada is a beautiful city in the Andalucia provience with landmarks of the gorgeous Alhambra palace (which was recently in the running as one of the new wonders of the world!) and free tapas (yum!). We stayed at the White Nest Hostel -- a rainbow-colored hostel with friendly staff and the most amazingly cozy-fuzzy orange blankets. Saturday during the day we tapa-hopped -- and the incredible thing about Granada is this: You buy a drink at a bar/restaurant, and then they give you FREE tapas! So basically you eat for free. I think if I lived in Granada, I would survive off of the free-tapa blessing. :)

After eating delicious chorizo (a super yummy meat), fruity sangria, and other tidbits of food and drink, we explored the "mini-Morocco" street. Granada is known for its Moroccan influence, and it definitely is evident there! I truly felt as though I was back in Morocco while in a shop -- signs were in Arabic, bright colored laterns surrounded me, and Arabic even filled my ears. Am I in Spain? How cool is this?! I love seeing the fusion of cultures like that. :)



Saturday night we met up with some of our other CIEE friends from the 2-week immersion program back in Sevilla -- Paige, Seth, and Erika. It was so fun getting to see them -- it felt a lot like a reunion! :) Because Paige lives in Granada, she helped show us where to go to enjoy the Granada nightlife. We started at a small bar/pub with yummy white wine and free sandwiches, and then moved on to the large and popular discoteca of Granda 10. And we danced and danced and danced the night away... :)








We woke up very early (considering that our bedtime was after 6am, in true Spanish form), and headed out for a quick breakfast and then to see the Alhambra. The Alhambra is GORGEOUS! Incredible architectural detailing, immense open spaces, and beautiful rose-filled gardens fill the Alhambra. I visited it when I studied abroad in Spain a few years ago, but I am so glad that I went back. It's amazing how different a place can be with the passage of time -- even though the place is the same, we have changed, and our perspective and what we appreciate and even truly what we are seeing is different. I guess it's true that our perceptions are our realities. And my perception of Granada was breath-taking. :)













My week at work was full of children, some good laughs, and of course, lots of me asking people to repeat themselves. :) As usual, Juan Javier asked me if I "met anyone" while out this weekend -- I told him yes, and then he proceeded to happily shout "Congratulations!" His strategy for the past few months has been to get me to find a Spanish novio (boyfriend) so that I will "live in Spain forever"...but I think he is realizing that his time for me finding a boyfriend is running out. He recently suggested that I buy a Spanish lottery ticket.

"You will buy the ticket, and go home to the US. But you will be in...in" he fluttered his fingers up and down like on a computer keyboard, "communication with us! And if you win, you just come back here!"

I love his logic. :)

Oh! And more good news! I know that in one of my recent posts I talked about how this week was going to be my last week of work....well, I changed that. :D I talked to Oti, and she said that I could of course come in the week after that if I would like! I wasn't planning on traveling during that week anyway, and I feel better knowing that next week will be my last week. It will still be hard to say "see you later," but at least I can better prepare myself this time! :)

This past weekend Alicia and Ashley came to La Antilla for a beach/girls' weekend. :) Bright blue skies, a light breeze, and lots of sun surrounded us -- it was a blessed weekend for sure. We also enjoyed lots of good food -- think fresh green salads with strawberries and seasoned chicken and cabra (goat cheese) -- and good drinks. :) We even went out again in Antilla to the local bar and chatted with the friendly (and yes, he's cute) bartender, Alberto. It was a good time, for sure.





Only two more weeks of work, and this coming weekend will be our last girls' weekend in Huelva (well, last girls' weekend with ALL of us). As you can imagine, I have a lot of mixed feelings, but for now I am trying to just remain in the present and enjoy each moment that is given to us. And I hope and pray that you are doing the same. :)

Keep on rockin' (air guitar or not)...



Brittany :)

Trickles

Life in Spain lately has been a combination of all things amazing sprinkled with trickles of sadness. A girls' trip to Granada this past weekend served as a wonderful get away full of tapa-eating, sangria-drinking, gab-festing, all-night-dancing, Alhambra-viewing memories. :) We returned to Huelva on Sunday after the five hour bus ride, and I stayed for a couple of nights with Ashley. Monday and Tuesday consisted of beach trips, relaxing, and shopping -- all in all, it was honestly one of the best weekends I've had in Spain -- and that's saying a lot considering all of the wonderful weekends we've been blessed with here. :)

But today at school, I came to the harsh realization that next week is my last week at work. I tremble even typing those words.

Last.

Week.

"Ohh...well maybe I can come in during June and help with some things..." I offered to Oti, hoping that I could prolonge the leaving process.
"No...I think it's ok. I don't think we have much else for you do to. I will let you know if I think of something though." She sweetly answered.
She montioned toward my pile of flashcards to laminate and posters to make "So this will be your last project."
My eyes fell to the ground as her sentence hit me. "I...I can't think about it!" I protested. "It just makes me too sad."
"But you will always be here," she explained. "With your signs and everything you've made...you will always be in the school."
And then I felt them -- the things I have been pushing back and pushing down and pushing everywhere away from me -- those feelings of sadness and reality and leaving. They started coming in tears. My red eyes and teary face looked up.
And there was sweet Oti, almost mirroring my exact look, teary eyed and sad "You can't cry, because if you cry, then I cry!" she exclaimed.
"Aww...ok, ok! Let's just take a breath."
We breathed. But my tears still wouldn't stop.
"I'm...I'm going to the bathroom...I'll be right back." I forced the words out.

And there it was. The reality of it all. The fact that I'm leaving this place I love. The closer the time comes, the harder facing this reality is. But it also fills me with hope. Coming here to Spain was totally a God-given gift -- and he truly has shown me the amazing things he can -- and he wants -- to give to us when we will simply rest in him and listen to him. So if he has blessed me this much now, I can hardly imagine what he has in store for the future. :)

I pray that you may be blessed wherever you are, with whatever you are doing. And if you feel those tears coming up for any reason, I pray that you have the strength to feel those feelings and the faith to trust in God's love for you and your future.

I love you,
Brittany :)



"For your eyes have seen all the great work of the Lord that he did..." -Deuteronomy 11:7

A Certain Hope

We have to keep letting go. Even if it means letting go of something good and wonderful and amazing, there comes a time where we have to let it go. Sometimes we have to let go of something good in order to grab hold of something even better.

And letting go means growth. Life is not static, and God did not intend for it to be that way. Why do we fight change so much? Sure, there are the rare specially gifted few who embrace and love all change, but deep down, when we're really being honest with ourselves, at least to some degree and in some portion of our thoughts and hearts, change scares us. We fear the unknown. We fear the uncomfortable. We fear letting go of what we love.

I suppose that's natural - the fear and hesitation. Especially when you love something or someone or some part of your life so deeply. So how do we make sense of it all? I suppose with time, for with time comes acceptance. By learning to appreciate what we have when we have it. By living in the moment. By celebrating the past, but not holding so tightly to it that we loose touch with the present. And anticipating the future with joy, but again not anticipating it so much that we forget to enjoy the very day we are being given.

And to remember that letting go is not only unchangable, but it is necessary and good. I think of when I had to leave Spain the first time - it was difficult and painful. But I had to leave Spain to finish my education at Meredith. But finishing my education at Meredith allowed me to apply for this teaching position in Spain. If I had never let go of the thing I first loved so greatly, I would never have been able to embrace this new, incredible experience.

And I am hopeful. For me and for you. Hopeful that this is true for each of our lives. You may view me as naive and wildly optimistic, but I would much rather be both of those things than cyncial and negative. But yes, I am hopeful. Certain, even. Certain that our best days are still ahead of us. Certain that what we have seen and done and experienced have been immense blessings and glimpses of God and His love. And certain that God is having us let go of this is order to grow. Certain that something amazing, something incredible, something even better than your mind can fathom, is waiting for you to embrace in your days ahead. Certain that letting go is not a depressive act but rather it is one of freedom and hope.

As hard as leaving Spain in one short month is going to be, I am trusting that the best days are still ahead. For both you and for me. :)



"…every person… has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way…I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently…My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God."
-Donald Miller