"There is something more than a little disconcerting about writing your autobiography....But I do it anyway. I do it because it seems to me that no matter who you are, and no matter how eloquent or otherwise, if you tell your own story with sufficient candor and concreteness, it will be an interesting story and in some sense a universal story..." - Frederick Buechner
In May 2009 Meredith College became my alma mater as I completed my BA in psychology. In September of the same year, I moved to a small coastal town in the south of Spain and began my year-long job as a language and culture assistant in a primary school. Although I love my job and my life here, I still plan (and hope!) to attend graduate school to further my education in psychology. If you have any questions, just ask! :)
-Nehemiah 8:10
“Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present...” – C.S. Lewis
It’s funny spending a holiday overseas in a place where they do not celebrate, or perhaps even know about, a day that is so important to your own culture. It seems as though this experience makes you realize the truth of the holiday that you deem as important – the truth of the holiday, whether that truth be good or bad. Being abroad, you begin to see things with new eyes. I really think that is much of what traveling and living abroad does for us – not only does it enhance our knowledge and experience of the world in general, but it also transforms our own perspective and the lenses through which we see everything. What was once foreign we may now find more common place, and what was common to us may now be renewed and unique and refreshing. We see the world with a new kind of vision, perhaps a more accurate one. We appreciate things differently. We learn what really matters to us. We become immensely aware of our flaws and problems (which, amazingly, stay with us even when we cross the Atlantic Ocean. Go as far as you wish; you will never escape yourself.) We learn what we value – what we fear – what we love.
And this, this experience and growth and learning, is the joy of life abroad. And this is something I am unbelievably thankful for. And there is a tiny word bursting with immense might: gratitude. Gratitude is what I feel. Gratitude is what I want to give. Gratitude and love – always.
November in Spain. The days are filled with up to 70 degrees of warmth (typically), and sunshine still graces the skies each day. I think it has rained – really poured and pounded and drenched the earth - a total of two times since I have been in Spain. I love the weather here – I've concluded that I am basically living in the Florida of Spain. :)
I have spent more time in Antilla and at my apartment this month. Part of that has been out of choice, out of a desire to make Antilla feel more like home and to develop a sense of community here, and part of it has been due to my health, or lack thereof (I caught a nasty flu that hung around for about a week, allowing me plenty of bonding time with my piso and my bed here). :)
Antilla is QUIET. It boasts and shouts and abounds in quietness. The weekends are the most populated and popular time here in Antilla, especially if the weather is warmer. I have concluded this about Antilla: people come here for the beach during the summer. People occasionally come here during the off seasons (aka, now) for a weekend beach get away if the weather is nice. And that is about it. I walk along the streets, CERRADO, CERRADO, CERRADO read all of the restaurants. The steel doors are shut, and windows are closed; the stores are not open for business. I look up at the apartment buildings – windows shut, curtains closed, windows shut, curtains closed. I walk back to my apartment – I glance at the fruiteria next door – closed. The cafeteria across the street – closed. Needless to say, it is difficult to build a sense of community when there doesn’t really seem to be one there surrounding you in the first place.
Now please don’t get me wrong, this quietness is not all bad. I am certain that God has me living here for a reason. And despite the quiet and lack of people, I have still found a strong sense of community in my school and the children that I work with (whom I see in the local Mercadona as they scream “TEACHER!” and run down the grocery aisle after me). I still love my apartment – it is beautiful and so peaceful. And I love having the beach as my backyard. Strolling on the beach, people watching, and listening to music are some of my favorite things to do. And being here where it is quiet gives me a lot of time to think. A lot of time to write. Read. Reflect. I am fairly certain that if I lived in Huelva, I would spend a great deal of my time with my American friends, not reading and writing. Some days, I wish I lived in Huelva. But then I also love living by the beach and I enjoy living by myself (98% of the time anyway). I guess it is true, that the grass is always greener on the other side. We always seem to wish for that which we don’t have. We think the other thing would be better. Contentment – perhaps this is another thing God desires for me to learn here. :)
My friends here in Spain are amazing. We are quite a unique mixture, but we all have something in common: we are searching. We are searching and questioning to try to find out what is the next step we want to take in our lives. We are curious. We are adventurous. And we are searching.
Huelva is my second home, and Ashley is one of my Spanish sisters. Ashley is one of my closest friends here in Spain, and she has been an amazing support and loyal friend to me during our time here. Her unending hospitality and kindness mean so much to me, and I feel truly in debt to her. She constantly opens her apartment to me, allowing for me to stay with her anytime I want or need. When I plop my head on Ashley’s red throw pillows after the one hour DAMAS bus ride to Huelva, I feel at home. As we eat French fries seasoned with Old Bay and watch Sex and the City, I feel at home. Ashley and I are two very different people – she views herself as sarcastic and witty, and I view myself as simple and happy. And I would say that all in all, it is amazing how well these differences work in our favor. We balance each other – we support each other – we are there for each other, always. And for this, I am extremely grateful.
Joanna is a second one of my closest friends here in Spain. She too lives in Huelva. She comes from a Catholic, Italian background, and at times you can hear a twinge of this strong thick Jersey accent come out. A Wisconsinite (Ashley), a Jersey girl, and a Southern belle – we are quite the trio. :) Hilarious – best one word summary of Joanna. We definitely have the same sense of humor – we find the same jokes, TV shows, and movies amusing. She has this incredible way of making anything sound funny – my friends and I have concluded that it is her unchanging tone of voice that makes her so hilarious. Jo is so level headed, logical, easy-going – all three things that I often wish I was more of.
Alicia. Red headed with gorgeous green eyes and ALWAYS a huge smile across her face. Alicia and I have gotten to know each other through a few trips – ones that she has made her to Antilla and the Portugal trip. She is so happy. So incredibly happy about life. She is always laughing, giggling, and making a joke about something. She is extremely sweet as well – an absolute sweetheart – when we are together, you can typically find us hugging or with our arms locked as we walk down the street. In Portugal we held hands and walked through the streets together until I awkwardly ran into a guy I had meet the night before (who later told me I should come to London and visit him right away. Maybe I should have told him that Alicia was my girlfriend?). Alicia is amazing, and I look forward to getting to know her even more.
And Julie. Sadly, Julie does not live in the Huelva province. Julie and I met each other in Sevilla because we had the same Spanish class together at CLIC. Julie lives in the province and city of Malaga, about a five hour trip away from Huelva. I have not been to visit her yet, but it is on my list to do very very very soon. :) She and I are like Spanish soul sisters. We just mesh. We enjoy doing the same things, we both try to remain positive and optimistic about everything, and we are always up for a good time. Hopefully we will be reunited soon. :)
So how am I measuring up here in Spain? In the words of Tim Cahill, “A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” Perhaps Antilla is a bit quieter and smaller than I expected it to be. But I would honestly and confidently say that I’ve come a very long way on this journey, and I am extremely happy and thankful to be here. And I owe a great deal of my joy to the support and constant love of my friends here -- my friends, who I prefer to call my Spanish family.
So in the spirit of change and variety, I decided to do a bit of a different blog post this time. I know I have not posted in a while, and there is a great deal to catch up on, but for now I'm going to share some of my own "top five" lists from here in Spain. Top five foods, top five phrases, top five things to watch out for....so this entry is a little different, and a little shorter, but I hope you enjoy it! :) I have also created photo albums with Snapfish -- please check them out and comment away! I would love to hear your feedback. :) I love you and miss you tons and I hope that all is going wonderfully with you!!!
1.) Ham (jamon) 2.) Bread (pan) 3.) Cheese 4.) Tapas 5.) Beer (cerveza -- and yes, I think they consider that a food here)
Top five sayings in Spain
1.) Vale! (OK) 2.) Venga! (Come on! or OK!) 3.) Hombre! (Which literally translates as "man" in English, but they often say it here in conversation meaning something kind of like "listen!" or "really!") 4.) Bueno (OK, well) 5.) Dime! (Tell me!)
Top five favorite things about Spain
1.) The beautiful beaches :) 2.) The friendly people! 3.) The laid back culture 4.) The warm weather 5.) Learning Spanish and my AMAZING school!
Top five random differences between the U.S. and Spain
1.) At the grocery store, you always bag your own groceries. Do not stand there waiting for them to bag your groceries (like I did the first time I bought groceries). 2.) If you invite someone to eat with you, you should pay for them. 3.) Handshakes are not used here – dos besos, por favor. :) 4.) Banks close at 2pm everyday – plan accordingly. 5.) When people answer the phone here, they do not say hello or ask how you are doing. They always say "Si" (yes) or "Dime" (tell me). It's a very direct culture!
Top five favorite foods in Spain
1.) Spinach lasagna 2.) Tinto de verano (Red wine with soda) 3.) Shandy (in the picture above, along with Spanish sunscreen and my Spanish cell phone. Shandy is like a lemony-lime drink.) 4.) Café con leche (coffee with milk) 5.) Yogurt azucardo (sweet yogurt)
Top five foods I miss from Los Estados Unidos (hence the very excited picture of me above with a delicious frappe from Starbucks in Sevilla!)
1.) Mexican food (although I finally found Mexican tortillas and yummy chips and guac. in the Mercandona!) :D 2.) Chick-fil-a (Oh how I miss the ease of fast food...) 3.) Chocolate chip cookie dough (I LOVE freshly baked cookies, but they don't have cookie dough here!) 4.) Half & half creamer for coffee 5.) All of my Mom's food :)
Top five things to watch out for in Spain
1.) If you are in a touristy area, beware of the gypsies who will try to sell you weed-looking pieces of grass. If you take one from them, they will expect you to pay for it...and if you don't, they will harass you to no end and possibly place a "curse" on you until you give them money. 2.) When taking the bus, be sure to be there on time, and do not be surprised if there is at least one couple making out on the bus and one really loud and rowdy person who gets in a verbal fight with the bus driver. 3.) If you are going to a cell phone store, come with plenty of patience and plenty of time. 4.) Don’t be timid here! People will often cut in front of you in line or try to be helped before you in stores – stand your own ground! 5.) There is no concept of personal space here, so be prepared to have your personal bubble burst. :)
Top five memories in Spain so far
1.) Halloween at school :) 2.) Swimming in Portugal 3.) Going out in Sevilla 4.) Exploring Plaza de Espana and the Parque de Maria Lusia in Sevilla 5.) Lunches with Oti :)
1.) Believing in myself more 2.) Taking care of myself more 3.) Practicing my Spanish more, despite any laughs or comments I may receive 4.) Embracing what God is doing for me 5.) Relaxing :)
Five things I believe
1.) That I am right where God wants me to be. 2.) That I am unbelievably blessed. 3.) That my God is a God of faithfulness and abundance. 4.) That we live in a world of adventure and beauty and joy – if only we will seek it. 5.) That change and growth and risk are some of the most challenging and also the greatest gifts in life.
It started with a five hour bus ride and a one hour time change. Five girlfriends of mine and I decided to head to Lagos, Portugal for a long weekend trip – since it was our first trip outside of Spain, we were extremely excited and ready to explore another part of the world. We didn’t quite know what to expect in Lagos. Stories of gorgeous scenery, beautiful boat rides, and fun night-life were mainly what we had heard of Lagos – and all of that combined sounded like a worthwhile weekend get-away. :)
There were six of us who went on the trip (all teachers from the CIEE program) – Ashley, Amanda, Katelyn, Alicia, Joanna, and me. Amanda, Katelyn, Alicia, and Joanna do not have to work on Fridays, so they all took the morning bus on Friday over to Lagos. Ashley and I, having to work on Fridays but not on Mondays, decided to take a later bus on Friday post-work and then stay Sunday night to get in some extra sight-seeing that might have been missed on Friday.
The bus ride was long and exhausting, especially after a day of work, but it was more than worth it in the long run. Lagos is absolutely gorgeous – and that short statement hardly does it justice. I know I write that often in my blogs, talking about how beautiful places are and how limited words are in their capacity to express beauty, but it is just so true. The more parts of the world I see, the more people I meet, the more things I do, the more I realize just how inadequate words are at genuinely and wholly expressing the experiences of life.
Lagos, or at least our experience of it, was quite small. If you met someone one night, you will, undoubtedly, run into them the very next night. The people were extremely friendly and laid-back, and there honestly was no language barrier issue. Everyone we meet in Lagos spoke English. The first night I asked one of the men who worked at our hostel if he spoke Portuguese. He laughed and said “You don’t have to speak Portuguese to live in Lagos. You just have to speak Aussie.” And his statement was unbelievably true. Australians, Brits, and Kiwis (New Zelanders) rule in Lagos. Of course some people (in the restaurants and small stores) spoke Portuguese, but all in all, we got by more than fine with speaking English. :)
We stayed in a hostel named “Stumble Inn.” It was cheap, in a central location, and met our needs. The people who worked there were also extremely friendly and helpful in giving suggestions of good restaurants and places to explore for nightlife. After going out for drinks and dancing on Friday night, we decided to take one of the famous boat rides of Lagos on Saturday. Lagos (and perhaps all of Portugal?) is known for their blue water and stunningly tall rocks that stand along the coast. We had heard that taking a boat ride along the rocks and into the caves was a must-do when in Lagos – so of course, we had to do it. :) And it was amazing! Besides taking an insane number of pictures, my other favorite part of the boat ride was going swimming. Half of the group wanted to go swimming, and the other half did not. Alicia, Joanna, and I decided that you are only in Lagos once, so why not go swimming? We would just jump into the water. Sometimes baby steps and slow progress is not the best way to do things -- sometimes you just have to jump. Donned in our swimsuits, we all stood together on the side of the boat, holding hands, counting and bracing ourselves for the cold water……. 1…2….3…..JUMP!!!! Freezing, freezing, freezing cold was the water. It was as though our bodies suddenly went into some form of shock from the harsh chill of the salty water. But we couldn’t help but laugh and be happy – we were swimming in Portugal! After a few minutes in the water and a little playing around, it started to feel pretty nice in there. Later that day, we went out into the town again and enjoyed a yummy Italian dinner, drinks, and dancing. :)
Sunday was a little more restful -- Ashley, Joanna, and I explored an old fort in Lagos and enjoyed the sun and good conversation while sitting on the roof of the fortress overlooking the blue sea. I believe that Robert Thomas Allen was right in saying that “Most of my treasured memories of travel are recollections of sitting.” :) Later that afternoon Ashley and I (staying our extra day in Portugal) decided to head to Sagres – a town on the southernmost tip of the country. Sagres too was gorgeous – it almost reminded me on a Portuguese version of Antilla. It, like Antilla, is best described as quiet and quaint – a sleepy little town that rests on the coastline. Ashley and I attempted to eat authentic Portuguese food, although the steak we ordered (which was really more like breaded/fried pork or chicken) wasn’t all that tasty (sadly). Maybe during our next visit to Portugal we’ll have better luck? As we finished our dinner, a group of British guys that we had met in Lagos the night before (they were staying in Sagres and had just gone to Lagos a night out) met us at the restaurant. We enjoyed some drinks and light-hearted conversation for the remainder of the night. :)
It was an amazing, and exhausting, trip. Sitting here on my couch and writing about it makes it all seem so unreal. Did I really go to Portugal? Did I really see the things my pictures tell me I saw? Did I truly met surfers from England? World travelers from Australia? And the backpackers from New Zeland? Do I really live in Spain? How unbelievably blessed am I that I can answer yes to every one of those questions….
I hear the ocean and feel a warm breeze. Pushing the red down comforter to my left, I swing my legs towards the floor. The cool tile tells my feet that it is time to get up. This is the beginning of my day.
I turn the television onto the Spanish music channel, shower, and get ready for the day. After a strong cup of coffee, tostada, and cereal, I lock the door to my apartment and begin the brisk two minute walk to school. The loud screech of a siren (the equivalent of their school bell) tells me that it is time for classes to begin. School starts at 9am. Today is Wednesday, and I am blessed enough to only work on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays (que suerte!). :) My school is C.E.I.P. Las Gaviotas in Antilla; it is a primary school with filled with children ages three to twelve. Most of my time is spent with the first graders, but I do work with every age group except for the three, four, and five year olds (which are considered "infantil" in the Spanish schools). I walk into the small but welcoming school. The walls are colored with red, green, white, yellow, and orange tiles, and brightly colored posters in English and Spanish fill the walls of the school. “Hello!” shouts Juan Javier, the principal. “Hello!” I smile back. Thump, thump, thump – I quickly hop upstairs to meet Oti in the English office. Oti is the bilingual coordinator at my school and she is also the English teacher of the school. She is a 28 year old Spanish woman with an incredible spirit of kindness, cheerfulness, and a true desire to learn English and to help others. Words cannot express the gratitude that I have for her and all of the kindness that she has shown me during my time here so far.
I typically stay with Oti during the school day, assisting her in teaching English classes. I do also work with Lousia, the art and science teacher. Lousia and I teach the first graders art and science in English. Part of my job at the school also includes preparing English materials – I must admit that this is one of my favorite parts of my job. During preparation time I get to color, design posters, cut, and laminate. I know it sounds silly and perhaps even childish, but I really enjoy getting paid to do this kind of work. :)
Oti and I use a “Bugs” workbook to teach the students English. We have been teaching different ages different lessons, ranging from learning phrases such as “on top of,” “under,” “in front of” to learning different rooms in the school (gym, classroom, etc.). We get to sing the ABCs with the third graders, and I love it when the children bop and hop around when we listen to English songs on the C.D. player. I am already becoming very attached to the children, and I feel like they are really beginning to know and trust me. I love getting big hugs and besitos (little kisses) from my children, and although it can be overwhelming, it is also endearing, when the constantly say "Maestra! Ven!" (Teacher! Come here!) while grabbing my hand to walk me to their desk and ask for my help or show me their beautiful new drawing.
With Lousia we teach the students simple phrases that relate to art such as “cut” and “color” as well as other English words such as the colors. As I mentioned earlier, I also help Lousia teach science to the first graders. I am not quite sure why they call this subject science; so far during “science” class Lousia has had us teaching the students about the classroom and different items in the classroom. Perhaps the term science somehow got lost in translation and we aren’t really teaching science?
The cultural differences in the classroom are fascinating. We learned during orientation that teachers here will yell at children in front of others; we were told that they will become frustrated with the students and say what we would probably deem as rather rude things (such as “They will never remember their homework” or “Don’t worry about them. They never do anything right.”). The thought of a teacher yelling at a child like this made me incredibly scared – how could someone, especially a teacher who is supposed to an example of kindness and patience, do something like that? I just didn’t understand. But now I understand because I have seen it happen. Lousia is an extremely sweet and kind person, but she will not hesitate to yell at the children or tell them if their artwork is “bad” or “wrong.” At first I was shocked to hear her tell a child that their picture wasn’t beautiful – the child had just showed it to me, and I praised them greatly for their good work! They turn around and show it to Lousia, and she yelled at them and tells that they didn’t cut the purple pieces of paper small enough. Although this may sound incredibly harsh, it somehow doesn’t feel that way in person. Although Lousia is yelling, and saying that someone’s picture isn’t perfect, I know that she still loves the children. And the amazing thing is, the children do not seem AT ALL phased by the teachers’ not-so-nice comments. It’s almost as if they expect it. It’s normal. I do wonder how this cultural difference of praise affects children and their development (there is the psychologist in me). My senior thesis at Meredith investigated emotional expressiveness in the family and children’s adjustment; I researched the expression of both positive and negative emotions in the family and how these expressions of feelings correlate with children and their behavior. I do wonder how the extreme expressiveness here in Spain, of both positive and negative emotions, affects children’s development as well. Beware folks; future research topics are brewing. :)
My Spanish piso (piso means apartment in Spain) is beautiful! The walls are tan colored with neutral colored furniture throughout the house. I live by myself, but the two extra bedrooms are often filled with my American friends from surrounding cities in Spain. :) White tile floors run throughout the house. Comfortable is one of the best words to describe how I feel living here. I have always drempt of living on my own and having my own apartment, but I never imagined that the first time I lived on my own would be in a beautiful beach apartment in Spain. It is truly better than I ever could have imagined. :)
The streets of Antilla are still very quiet, but I find the quiet comforting and relaxing. Most of my weekends have been spent in Huevla, the closest city to Antilla (it is about an hour away by bus). Several of my American friends live in Huelva, and I am extremely thankful to have them. We have explored the Huelvan nightlife, and they have all come to Antilla a couple of weekends to enjoy the beach. One weekend when a large group of my girlfriends was here in Antilla, we happened to meet a large group of guys on the beach – they invited us to come over to their house later that night to have some drinks and hang out. We gladly accepted the invitation, and ventured over to their house after dinner. When talking to the guys on the beach, they mentioned that they were rowers, but we didn’t think too much of it. When we went over to their house that night, we discovered that these guys are not just rowers – they are Spain’s National Rowing Team. They compete in world championships, and many of them have placed highly in world championships. We enjoyed a fun night of tinto de verano (a staple Spanish drink made of red wine and Fanta), random games (including limbo and spin the bottle with besos on the cheeks), and lots of light-hearted Spanish conversations. Some of us exchanged contact information – the guys seemed eager for us to come visit them. They all live in Sevilla, so my friends and I are hoping to make a weekend trip there and meet up with our rowing friends for some more fun. :)
My language skills have improved a great deal since I have been in Spain, but I still have a long way to go. I have noticed that I am now thinking in Spanish much more often, and I am conversing with much greater ease with the people here – at times it is as if I don’t have to think about what I am saying to them, I just say it (which is such a wonderful feeling!). :) I also finally have internet for my apartment (yay!), a temporary residency card for Spain, and a Spanish bank account (as a resident and with on-line banking). Things are truly falling into place, and Spain is really beginning to feel like home. God continues to bless my time here, and words cannot express the gratitude that I feel for all that he has given to me. There are so many days when I stand there, looking out at the ocean, feeling the warm breeze from the water, thinking “I can’t believe that I get to live this life.” God has blessed me an amazing amount, and I hope and pray that in some way the stories that I share are a blessing and encouragement to you.
As always, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and interest in my experiences and life here in Spain. I miss and love each of you an incredible amount – please know that I think of you often and am so incredibly thankful for each of you!
“I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than at any other time in my life.” -John Eldredge
Running, running, running. The sun at my back, the wind pushing me forward. My shoes sink into the sand and small grains seep into my socks. My weight pushes my feet into the sand, my legs push me forward. Breathing deeply, I run. The white foam chases after me – it’s running with me, parallel to my path. The air is alive with salt and mist from the sea. Sea shells explode across the sand, crunching beneath my quick strides.
Running, running, running. There are a few people out – sets of older couples. Some holding hands, others simply sitting and enjoying the sun’s last stretch of the day. It is peaceful.
I think about the week, the month, I have spent here in Spain. Has it really been a month? I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone by.
I am happy. I am more than happy. I am content. Joyful. Alive. This month has been one of the most exciting, most joyful, and happiest months of my life.
I am in awe at how much God has blessed this experience. It is beautiful here – at first I found the quiet of Antilla to be lonesome, but now I find a comfort in the quietness. There is a different pace of life here – a pace that I find both frustrating and relaxing. Things are not done quickly in Spain – things are done little by little, slowly. You wash your clothes, but then you hang them on the clothesine. You wait a day for them to dry – slowly. You go to the store to buy a cell phone, and you wait in line for 30 minutes. You finally reach a customer service representative, and they help you – slowly. You go to a store to buy stamps during the afternoon, but the store is closed for siesta. The store opens at 10:30am and closes at 2pm. It reopens at 6pm and closes again at 9pm – you adapt to the schedule, slowly. Being here in Spain, especially being here in Antilla, forces you to live. Slowly.
And although this different pace of life can be frustrating at times, it has made me think about how I should be living. My home culture is not slow-paced – we are a culture of efficiency and speed. We have fast food, fast internet, fast forward. High speed, high efficiency. We have a stove that boils water in 30 seconds. We have a device that allows us to record the shows we want to watch and also allows us to skip commercials. We have self check-out lines. We have express check-out lines. We want speed, efficiency, productivity. Shifting from a culture of speed and immediate gratification to a culture focused on people and living slowly has been a challenging and rewarding experience.
Running, I think about this. There are certain things that I appreciate about both cultures. Which culture is better? I don’t know. And I don’t think deciding which culture is “better” is important. What I do know is this: I am incredibly happy here. And at this moment, with the wind at my back, running, running, I feel alive. I am well rested from a siesta earlier in the afternoon. I feel full from fresh, healthy food. I am thankful for my children at school – their bright eyes, their cheerful hellos, the way in which they become excited when I walk into the classroom. I am humbled by the patience and kindness of my co-workers, especially that of Oti.
I hear the ocean now as I run. The ocean is the first thing I hear when I wake up. It is the last thing I hear before I go to bed. I feel the sun now. Running, running. I am utterly content, and I am undoubtedly confident that I am right where God wants me to be.
And for this, I am thankful. Joyful. Incredibly, unbelievably, and truly alive.
Running, running. I think to myself: And this is how God intended for us to live…
It’s quiet here. Palm trees line the islands in the middle of the one main road in the town while hotels and apartments rest on both sides of the street. Thump, thump, thump. My own stride and steps are the only sound I hear. There is a slight breeze that comes and goes. There are no buses. No taxis. Only the sounds of steps and cars and the occasional moto.
The sky is so blue – bluer than most, which is an odd statement to make since there is truly only one sky. Homes are built with stucco and are colored white or a lighter brown. Flowers are just as common as homes here – if Antilla had ordinances, I am pretty certain that one of them would be every home must have at least three plants with beautiful, brightly colored flowers growing along terraces. And the ocean is different than any I have ever seen – the sand is not white, nor is it brown – it finds its shade somewhere in between. It is peaceful. There are no big waves, no roaring ocean. Yet this is different than the Caribbean or the Gulf Coast. The water is not the transparent blue; it is more of a blue. Not green really – just calm blue. When the wind blows, the white caps jump quickly to the shore. But it is so calm. The breeze carries a scent of salt and sun. Oh, and the sunsets. The sky explodes with splashes of orange, violet, pink, and a lemony yellow to the west while the east is painted in dark blue and purple with light blue puffs of cloud in between.
I must admit that I have had moments of loneliness during the past week. I anticipated moments of loneliness, and honestly, I feared experiencing those moments. But after a few more days in Antilla, I can now say that I don’t feel so lonely anymore. :) I love living so close to the beach – I love that when I go to walk home at night, I can choose to take the beach instead of the sidewalk. I much prefer sand to pavement. When I was walking home one night, I noticed that there were many fishermen on the shore. I went closer to the boats to take pictures, and some of the fishermen started talking to me – they thought I was German (thus far I have been mistaken for being Italian – two times – French one time and now German, but no one has guessed me as an American!). I ended up going to a café to have some “cervecitas” (beers with friends) with my new friends. One of the fishermen made me a little uncomfortable with his aggressive attitude – he kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and he told me he wanted us to be a “pair.” Thankfully, Ismael, the other man I was with, was extremely kind and thoroughly amusing. I am fairly certain that Ismael only has romantic interests in other men which alleviates any awkward romantic tension and makes me feel much safer with him. He treated me to a few drinks (it is costume in Spain that if someone invites you out for drinks or food that they pay for you), and then he walked me back to my hotel, teaching me Spanish and singing Backstreet Boys and Celine Dion in Spanish. I think that if I spend more time with Ismael, my Spanish will truly improve!
I also met a few people who work at a local restaurant in Islantilla, a small town right beside Antilla (Antilla and Islantilla are basically one in the same). As I left the restaurant, my waiter started speaking to me in some bizarre language that I didn’t recognize. I prayed that it wasn’t Spanish, because if so, I didn’t understand a word of it. Thankfully it wasn’t Spanish, instead it was French! Pedro, the waiter, thought I sounded French. We ended up talking for a while, and the other people at the restaurant were also very gracious and kind to me. I told them I was here alone and that I needed to make friends, and Pedro kindly smiled and told me that “You have friends now! You have three right here!” The warmth, openness, and kindness of the people here truly amaze me.
My school is incredible! I am working at C.E.I.P. Las Gaviotas in La Antilla – it is a small primary school which houses classes for children between 3 and 12 years old. The first day I visited the school I was nervous and a little concerned because Javier, the principal did not seem to know who I was or what I was really doing there. Thankfully, Javier speaks some English, and Oti, the bilingual coordinator of the school, also speaks English. With their English and my Spanish, we were able to communicate easily. The kindness of Javier, Oti, and my co-workers at the school is AMAZING. When I told my co-workers that I was looking for a place to live in Antilla, they literally dropped everything they were doing and started making phone calls to people they knew and different apartment complexes. One of the women at my school, Nora, spoke to one of her friends who had a place very close to the school and very close to the beach. She arranged for me to go see the apartment in the afternoon – and this is the place that I will now call home. It is incredible! There are three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge kitchen that is fully equipped with dishes and appliances (and with a dishwasher!!) – There is even a terrace! I think the terrace is the part of the home that I am the most excited about. I can’t wait to put the patio furniture outside and start growing flowers and sit and drink café con leche and paint and write and read. :) The apartment is about a two minute walk from my school and about a 30 second walk from the beach (literally). I had been asking God to help provide me with a home here in Spain, and once again, he has blessed me an incredible amount. For God is teaching me again and again that he loves it “when we step out in faith…”
I had my first day of work today, and I officially move into my apartment tomorrow. Work went SO well, and I am so excited to be working with children again! I didn’t realize how much I have missed children until I saw the little ones today. :) Holding the three year olds' hands, playing games in English, and getting besos from some of my children were some of the highlights of today. One of the other teachers at my school, Manuela, also showed me where she lives in Antilla and then treated me to lunch after. Speaking mostly Spanish from the start of the day until about 4 pm was mentally exhausting, but I can tell that I am understanding so much more, and I am beginning to be able to speak more quickly and easily.
As usual there is so much more to share, especially about my school, but I will be sure to write more again soon. Thank you so much for all of your prayers, support, and kind thoughts – you mean the world to me!
But there is a main message that I have learned so far during my time here in Spain, and it is the message that God keeps repeating to me through his blessings and comfort and unending kindness. And the message is simple and true: “God loves it when we step out in faith….”
And I know that he blesses and blesses and blesses our lives when we are simply willing to take that step.
I cried the entire way to the airport. Bursts of emotion and sadness came the weekend before leaving - they came in waves. It hit when my sister and her husband left the house in Raleigh after their last visit. It hit the last time I tucked in and kissed the little boys I babysit for. It hit in strong, sudden, uncontrollable waves. During one of these overwhelming times, Kelly kindly comforted me. I doubted my decision to move to Spain at all.
"Why am I doing this to myself? This is so incredibly stressful. And I love my life here and my family and friends here - why am I moving halfway across the world for a year? I don't even speak Spanish fluently, and I don't know a single other person going there. Why am I doing this?"
Kelly wrapped her arms around me. "You're doing it because change is good, and it means growth. You're getting ready to do an amazing thing, and you never know what is just around the corner. There could be something really great for you there."
Her words comforted me slowly and steadily. You never know what is just around the corner. You never know what is just around the corner. I found a steady and optimistic sense of comfort in this.
And oh how Kelly's words have rung true during my past two weeks here in Sevilla. I met two extremely warm and friendly Spaniards on my flight from Philadelphia to Madrid - a mother, Sonja and her teenage son, Martin. We talked about Spain - about the sight to see and things to do. We even exchanged contact information and have been keeping in touch some - I'm hoping to head to Madrid or the northern part of Spain to visit them during my time here.
After the nice, and exhausting, flight across the Atlantic, I safely arrived in Sevilla on Friday, September 11th. Although I safely arrived in Sevilla, my luggage got lost in the traveling process. Thankfully, I put in a claim for my two lost bags, told the CIEE program director about the luggage issue, and received both of my bags within two days. :)
The people in my program are AMAZING! Before coming to Spain, I prayed that God would bless me with a good set of friends here. God has blessed me with an incredible number of kind and friendly people in my life and also with many Christians friends. I continue to be amazed at how when we simply place requests before God with sincerity and faith, he will provide more, much more, than enough for us.
I am currently living with a senora, Manoli, and another CIEE student from the four week immersion program, Stephanie. Manoli is a petite, vivacious, blonde hairdresser with an incredible sense of optimism and depth. She comes form a large family, and she is best friends with her sister (which of course made me think of my sister and me!). The common area in the apartment is donned with beautiful pictures and paintings created by Manoli's deceased brother, Rafael. The other day at lunch Manoli share more about Rafael with Stephanie and me.
"He was born with one leg shorter than the other which caused him a great amount of pain in his side. He couldn't walk or get out of bed for the first nine years of his life, which is when he learned how to paint and draw so well. When he was nine, they him a special shoe that helped him to be able to walk and move by giving his shorter leg some extra height. Yet later in life his leg and hip was still in a lot of pain, so they decided to perform a big operation. There was a blood transfusion, and I don't know exactly what happened, but I think they gave him the wrong kind of blood...and he died."
Tears streamed down Manoli's face. Stephanie and I were speechless - we would hardly know what to say to someone in English in a situation like this, so trying to find comforting words in our limited Spanish seemed impossible. A tear ran down my cheek as I rubbed Manoli's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Manoli." More tears flooded my eyes. "But he is in your heart."
I am not sure if I should attribute Manoli's openness to her individual personality or if the Spanish culture is simply more open, but I always admire people who are willing to share those real and sometimes painful parts of their lives.
Classes have been going well and although my Spanish still has a long way to go, I can tell that I understand much more now than I did a week ago. :) We are taking classes for four hours a day at CLIC, an international language school in the centro (center) of the city. It is so interesting taking classes there because people from all over the world are studying at CLIC with the common goal of learning Spanish. Last week I had classmates from Norway, Brazil, Austria, and Turkey in my class! I also met a few people from Germany and Switzerland during one night out. It is so exciting and fun to be able to learn not only about the Spanish culture but to also be able to learn more about other cultures around the world.
As for Sevilla itself, it is an absolutely GORGEOUS city! Words and even photos simply do not suffice as accurate descriptions. My CIEE friends and I have spent several afternoons walking around the city, eating helado (ice cream) in the plazas, window shopping and observing the Spanish fashions, walking by the river, and of course, drinking cafe con leche. :)
I leave this Saturday morning to move to La Antilla, the town where I will be living and working for the year. La Antilla is a small coastal town (popluation approximately between 3 - 4,000) set in the southwestern part of Andalusia; it's merely 10-15 miles from the Portugal border. I am very excited to finally see the place that I will be making my home for several months, but I must admit that I am also nervous and sad. Nervous because I am the only CIEE participant in my town, and I am very well be the only English speaker and/or American there. I also learned in class that the accents in the small pueblos of Andalusia are MUCH thicker than in Sevilla, and therefore the people are much more difficult to understand. I have a feeling that I am going to be asking people to please repeat themselves and to please speak more slowly very, very, very often. :) I also feel sad about leaving Sevilla because I have become very close with several of the other people in the 2-week immersion program - it kind of feels like we're a little family! We are all sad about being apart from one another, but we know that with Spain's train and bus systems, visiting each other shouldn't be an issue. :)
I still have not heard back from my school, and I still have not found a place to live. CIEE told us that it will be much easier to find a place to live once you get to your town - many thing sin Spain are arranged through knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone. That being said, I think talking to as many people at possible once I get to Antilla will be the best way for me to find a safe and affordable place to live. Not having a place to live is a little nerve-wracking, but CIEE has arranged a hotel for me to stay in for five nights once I get to Antilla (and I think the hotel is on the beach!). I also have complete confidence that God will provide a place for me to live in Antilla; He has taken me this far in this great adventure, and he has already blessed me with so much. My heart is certain that with prayer, faith, and persistence, He will more than take care of a place for me to live.
I think of all of you constantly, and I wish that you were here with me to share in this experience. It is extremely difficult to try to condense all of the conversations, sights, and and experiences I have had so far into one blog entry, but I hope that I have allowed you at least a glimpse into my time here in Spain so far. Thankful, humbled, and excited are the best words to describe how I feel right now, and as I head off to Antilla on Saturday I will be sure to remember
You never know what is just around the corner.... :)
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TOMA...we're in ROMA! :D (63 photos), by Brittany Bristol
I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share. Click here to view photos
