"I can't believe I get to live this life...."

I hear the ocean and feel a warm breeze. Pushing the red down comforter to my left, I swing my legs towards the floor. The cool tile tells my feet that it is time to get up. This is the beginning of my day.

I turn the television onto the Spanish music channel, shower, and get ready for the day. After a strong cup of coffee, tostada, and cereal, I lock the door to my apartment and begin the brisk two minute walk to school. The loud screech of a siren (the equivalent of their school bell) tells me that it is time for classes to begin. School starts at 9am. Today is Wednesday, and I am blessed enough to only work on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays (que suerte!). :) My school is C.E.I.P. Las Gaviotas in Antilla; it is a primary school with filled with children ages three to twelve. Most of my time is spent with the first graders, but I do work with every age group except for the three, four, and five year olds (which are considered "infantil" in the Spanish schools). I walk into the small but welcoming school. The walls are colored with red, green, white, yellow, and orange tiles, and brightly colored posters in English and Spanish fill the walls of the school. “Hello!” shouts Juan Javier, the principal. “Hello!” I smile back. Thump, thump, thump – I quickly hop upstairs to meet Oti in the English office. Oti is the bilingual coordinator at my school and she is also the English teacher of the school. She is a 28 year old Spanish woman with an incredible spirit of kindness, cheerfulness, and a true desire to learn English and to help others. Words cannot express the gratitude that I have for her and all of the kindness that she has shown me during my time here so far.

I typically stay with Oti during the school day, assisting her in teaching English classes. I do also work with Lousia, the art and science teacher. Lousia and I teach the first graders art and science in English. Part of my job at the school also includes preparing English materials – I must admit that this is one of my favorite parts of my job. During preparation time I get to color, design posters, cut, and laminate. I know it sounds silly and perhaps even childish, but I really enjoy getting paid to do this kind of work. :)

Oti and I use a “Bugs” workbook to teach the students English. We have been teaching different ages different lessons, ranging from learning phrases such as “on top of,” “under,” “in front of” to learning different rooms in the school (gym, classroom, etc.). We get to sing the ABCs with the third graders, and I love it when the children bop and hop around when we listen to English songs on the C.D. player. I am already becoming very attached to the children, and I feel like they are really beginning to know and trust me. I love getting big hugs and besitos (little kisses) from my children, and although it can be overwhelming, it is also endearing, when the constantly say "Maestra! Ven!" (Teacher! Come here!) while grabbing my hand to walk me to their desk and ask for my help or show me their beautiful new drawing.

With Lousia we teach the students simple phrases that relate to art such as “cut” and “color” as well as other English words such as the colors. As I mentioned earlier, I also help Lousia teach science to the first graders. I am not quite sure why they call this subject science; so far during “science” class Lousia has had us teaching the students about the classroom and different items in the classroom. Perhaps the term science somehow got lost in translation and we aren’t really teaching science?

The cultural differences in the classroom are fascinating. We learned during orientation that teachers here will yell at children in front of others; we were told that they will become frustrated with the students and say what we would probably deem as rather rude things (such as “They will never remember their homework” or “Don’t worry about them. They never do anything right.”). The thought of a teacher yelling at a child like this made me incredibly scared – how could someone, especially a teacher who is supposed to an example of kindness and patience, do something like that? I just didn’t understand. But now I understand because I have seen it happen. Lousia is an extremely sweet and kind person, but she will not hesitate to yell at the children or tell them if their artwork is “bad” or “wrong.” At first I was shocked to hear her tell a child that their picture wasn’t beautiful – the child had just showed it to me, and I praised them greatly for their good work! They turn around and show it to Lousia, and she yelled at them and tells that they didn’t cut the purple pieces of paper small enough. Although this may sound incredibly harsh, it somehow doesn’t feel that way in person. Although Lousia is yelling, and saying that someone’s picture isn’t perfect, I know that she still loves the children. And the amazing thing is, the children do not seem AT ALL phased by the teachers’ not-so-nice comments. It’s almost as if they expect it. It’s normal. I do wonder how this cultural difference of praise affects children and their development (there is the psychologist in me). My senior thesis at Meredith investigated emotional expressiveness in the family and children’s adjustment; I researched the expression of both positive and negative emotions in the family and how these expressions of feelings correlate with children and their behavior. I do wonder how the extreme expressiveness here in Spain, of both positive and negative emotions, affects children’s development as well. Beware folks; future research topics are brewing. :)

My Spanish piso (piso means apartment in Spain) is beautiful! The walls are tan colored with neutral colored furniture throughout the house. I live by myself, but the two extra bedrooms are often filled with my American friends from surrounding cities in Spain. :) White tile floors run throughout the house. Comfortable is one of the best words to describe how I feel living here. I have always drempt of living on my own and having my own apartment, but I never imagined that the first time I lived on my own would be in a beautiful beach apartment in Spain. It is truly better than I ever could have imagined. :)

The streets of Antilla are still very quiet, but I find the quiet comforting and relaxing. Most of my weekends have been spent in Huevla, the closest city to Antilla (it is about an hour away by bus). Several of my American friends live in Huelva, and I am extremely thankful to have them. We have explored the Huelvan nightlife, and they have all come to Antilla a couple of weekends to enjoy the beach. One weekend when a large group of my girlfriends was here in Antilla, we happened to meet a large group of guys on the beach – they invited us to come over to their house later that night to have some drinks and hang out. We gladly accepted the invitation, and ventured over to their house after dinner. When talking to the guys on the beach, they mentioned that they were rowers, but we didn’t think too much of it. When we went over to their house that night, we discovered that these guys are not just rowers – they are Spain’s National Rowing Team. They compete in world championships, and many of them have placed highly in world championships. We enjoyed a fun night of tinto de verano (a staple Spanish drink made of red wine and Fanta), random games (including limbo and spin the bottle with besos on the cheeks), and lots of light-hearted Spanish conversations. Some of us exchanged contact information – the guys seemed eager for us to come visit them. They all live in Sevilla, so my friends and I are hoping to make a weekend trip there and meet up with our rowing friends for some more fun. :)

My language skills have improved a great deal since I have been in Spain, but I still have a long way to go. I have noticed that I am now thinking in Spanish much more often, and I am conversing with much greater ease with the people here – at times it is as if I don’t have to think about what I am saying to them, I just say it (which is such a wonderful feeling!). :) I also finally have internet for my apartment (yay!), a temporary residency card for Spain, and a Spanish bank account (as a resident and with on-line banking). Things are truly falling into place, and Spain is really beginning to feel like home. God continues to bless my time here, and words cannot express the gratitude that I feel for all that he has given to me. There are so many days when I stand there, looking out at the ocean, feeling the warm breeze from the water, thinking “I can’t believe that I get to live this life.” God has blessed me an amazing amount, and I hope and pray that in some way the stories that I share are a blessing and encouragement to you.

As always, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and interest in my experiences and life here in Spain. I miss and love each of you an incredible amount – please know that I think of you often and am so incredibly thankful for each of you!

Con todo de mi carino,
Brittany

Joy

October 8, 2009

“I can see that when I have felt joy I have felt more alive than at any other time in my life.” -John Eldredge

Running, running, running. The sun at my back, the wind pushing me forward. My shoes sink into the sand and small grains seep into my socks. My weight pushes my feet into the sand, my legs push me forward. Breathing deeply, I run. The white foam chases after me – it’s running with me, parallel to my path. The air is alive with salt and mist from the sea. Sea shells explode across the sand, crunching beneath my quick strides.

Running, running, running. There are a few people out – sets of older couples. Some holding hands, others simply sitting and enjoying the sun’s last stretch of the day. It is peaceful.

I think about the week, the month, I have spent here in Spain. Has it really been a month? I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone by.

I am happy. I am more than happy. I am content. Joyful. Alive.
This month has been one of the most exciting, most joyful, and happiest months of my life.

I am in awe at how much God has blessed this experience. It is beautiful here – at first I found the quiet of Antilla to be lonesome, but now I find a comfort in the quietness. There is a different pace of life here – a pace that I find both frustrating and relaxing. Things are not done quickly in Spain – things are done little by little, slowly. You wash your clothes, but then you hang them on the clothesine. You wait a day for them to dry – slowly. You go to the store to buy a cell phone, and you wait in line for 30 minutes. You finally reach a customer service representative, and they help you – slowly. You go to a store to buy stamps during the afternoon, but the store is closed for siesta. The store opens at 10:30am and closes at 2pm. It reopens at 6pm and closes again at 9pm – you adapt to the schedule, slowly. Being here in Spain, especially being here in Antilla, forces you to live. Slowly.

And although this different pace of life can be frustrating at times, it has made me think about how I should be living. My home culture is not slow-paced – we are a culture of efficiency and speed. We have fast food, fast internet, fast forward. High speed, high efficiency. We have a stove that boils water in 30 seconds. We have a device that allows us to record the shows we want to watch and also allows us to skip commercials. We have self check-out lines. We have express check-out lines. We want speed, efficiency, productivity. Shifting from a culture of speed and immediate gratification to a culture focused on people and living slowly has been a challenging and rewarding experience.

Running, I think about this. There are certain things that I appreciate about both cultures. Which culture is better? I don’t know. And I don’t think deciding which culture is “better” is important. What I do know is this: I am incredibly happy here. And at this moment, with the wind at my back, running, running, I feel alive. I am well rested from a siesta earlier in the afternoon. I feel full from fresh, healthy food. I am thankful for my children at school – their bright eyes, their cheerful hellos, the way in which they become excited when I walk into the classroom. I am humbled by the patience and kindness of my co-workers, especially that of Oti.

I hear the ocean now as I run. The ocean is the first thing I hear when I wake up. It is the last thing I hear before I go to bed. I feel the sun now. Running, running. I am utterly content, and I am undoubtedly confident that I am right where God wants me to be.

And for this, I am thankful. Joyful. Incredibly, unbelievably, and truly alive.

Running, running. I think to myself: And this is how God intended for us to live…

“God loves it when we step out in faith….”

It’s quiet here. Palm trees line the islands in the middle of the one main road in the town while hotels and apartments rest on both sides of the street. Thump, thump, thump. My own stride and steps are the only sound I hear. There is a slight breeze that comes and goes. There are no buses. No taxis. Only the sounds of steps and cars and the occasional moto.

The sky is so blue – bluer than most, which is an odd statement to make since there is truly only one sky. Homes are built with stucco and are colored white or a lighter brown. Flowers are just as common as homes here – if Antilla had ordinances, I am pretty certain that one of them would be every home must have at least three plants with beautiful, brightly colored flowers growing along terraces.
And the ocean is different than any I have ever seen – the sand is not white, nor is it brown – it finds its shade somewhere in between. It is peaceful. There are no big waves, no roaring ocean. Yet this is different than the Caribbean or the Gulf Coast. The water is not the transparent blue; it is more of a blue. Not green really – just calm blue. When the wind blows, the white caps jump quickly to the shore. But it is so calm. The breeze carries a scent of salt and sun. Oh, and the sunsets. The sky explodes with splashes of orange, violet, pink, and a lemony yellow to the west while the east is painted in dark blue and purple with light blue puffs of cloud in between.


I must admit that I have had moments of loneliness during the past week. I anticipated moments of loneliness, and honestly, I feared experiencing those moments. But after a few more days in Antilla, I can now say that I don’t feel so lonely anymore. :) I love living so close to the beach – I love that when I go to walk home at night, I can choose to take the beach instead of the sidewalk. I much prefer sand to pavement. When I was walking home one night, I noticed that there were many fishermen on the shore. I went closer to the boats to take pictures, and some of the fishermen started talking to me – they thought I was German (thus far I have been mistaken for being Italian – two times – French one time and now German, but no one has guessed me as an American!). I ended up going to a café to have some “cervecitas” (beers with friends) with my new friends. One of the fishermen made me a little uncomfortable with his aggressive attitude – he kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and he told me he wanted us to be a “pair.” Thankfully, Ismael, the other man I was with, was extremely kind and thoroughly amusing. I am fairly certain that Ismael only has romantic interests in other men which alleviates any awkward romantic tension and makes me feel much safer with him. He treated me to a few drinks (it is costume in Spain that if someone invites you out for drinks or food that they pay for you), and then he walked me back to my hotel, teaching me Spanish and singing Backstreet Boys and Celine Dion in Spanish. I think that if I spend more time with Ismael, my Spanish will truly improve!

I also met a few people who work at a local restaurant in Islantilla, a small town right beside Antilla (Antilla and Islantilla are basically one in the same). As I left the restaurant, my waiter started speaking to me in some bizarre language that I didn’t recognize. I prayed that it wasn’t Spanish, because if so, I didn’t understand a word of it. Thankfully it wasn’t Spanish, instead it was French! Pedro, the waiter, thought I sounded French. We ended up talking for a while, and the other people at the restaurant were also very gracious and kind to me. I told them I was here alone and that I needed to make friends, and Pedro kindly smiled and told me that “You have friends now! You have three right here!” The warmth, openness, and kindness of the people here truly amaze me.

My school is incredible! I am working at C.E.I.P. Las Gaviotas in La Antilla – it is a small primary school which houses classes for children between 3 and 12 years old. The first day I visited the school I was nervous and a little concerned because Javier, the principal did not seem to know who I was or what I was really doing there. Thankfully, Javier speaks some English, and Oti, the bilingual coordinator of the school, also speaks English. With their English and my Spanish, we were able to communicate easily. The kindness of Javier, Oti, and my co-workers at the school is AMAZING. When I told my co-workers that I was looking for a place to live in Antilla, they literally dropped everything they were doing and started making phone calls to people they knew and different apartment complexes. One of the women at my school, Nora, spoke to one of her friends who had a place very close to the school and very close to the beach. She arranged for me to go see the apartment in the afternoon – and this is the place that I will now call home. It is incredible! There are three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge kitchen that is fully equipped with dishes and appliances (and with a dishwasher!!) – There is even a terrace! I think the terrace is the part of the home that I am the most excited about. I can’t wait to put the patio furniture outside and start growing flowers and sit and drink café con leche and paint and write and read. :) The apartment is about a two minute walk from my school and about a 30 second walk from the beach (literally). I had been asking God to help provide me with a home here in Spain, and once again, he has blessed me an incredible amount. For God is teaching me again and again that he loves it “when we step out in faith…”

I had my first day of work today, and I officially move into my apartment tomorrow. Work went SO well, and I am so excited to be working with children again! I didn’t realize how much I have missed children until I saw the little ones today. :) Holding the three year olds' hands, playing games in English, and getting besos from some of my children were some of the highlights of today. One of the other teachers at my school, Manuela, also showed me where she lives in Antilla and then treated me to lunch after. Speaking mostly Spanish from the start of the day until about 4 pm was mentally exhausting, but I can tell that I am understanding so much more, and I am beginning to be able to speak more quickly and easily.

As usual there is so much more to share, especially about my school, but I will be sure to write more again soon. Thank you so much for all of your prayers, support, and kind thoughts – you mean the world to me!

But there is a main message that I have learned so far during my time here in Spain, and it is the message that God keeps repeating to me through his blessings and comfort and unending kindness. And the message is simple and true: “God loves it when we step out in faith….”

And I know that he blesses and blesses and blesses our lives when we are simply willing to take that step.

All of my love and gratitude,
Brittany :)