And letting go means growth. Life is not static, and God did not intend for it to be that way. Why do we fight change so much? Sure, there are the rare specially gifted few who embrace and love all change, but deep down, when we're really being honest with ourselves, at least to some degree and in some portion of our thoughts and hearts, change scares us. We fear the unknown. We fear the uncomfortable. We fear letting go of what we love.
I suppose that's natural - the fear and hesitation. Especially when you love something or someone or some part of your life so deeply. So how do we make sense of it all? I suppose with time, for with time comes acceptance. By learning to appreciate what we have when we have it. By living in the moment. By celebrating the past, but not holding so tightly to it that we loose touch with the present. And anticipating the future with joy, but again not anticipating it so much that we forget to enjoy the very day we are being given.
And to remember that letting go is not only unchangable, but it is necessary and good. I think of when I had to leave Spain the first time - it was difficult and painful. But I had to leave Spain to finish my education at Meredith. But finishing my education at Meredith allowed me to apply for this teaching position in Spain. If I had never let go of the thing I first loved so greatly, I would never have been able to embrace this new, incredible experience.
And I am hopeful. For me and for you. Hopeful that this is true for each of our lives. You may view me as naive and wildly optimistic, but I would much rather be both of those things than cyncial and negative. But yes, I am hopeful. Certain, even. Certain that our best days are still ahead of us. Certain that what we have seen and done and experienced have been immense blessings and glimpses of God and His love. And certain that God is having us let go of this is order to grow. Certain that something amazing, something incredible, something even better than your mind can fathom, is waiting for you to embrace in your days ahead. Certain that letting go is not a depressive act but rather it is one of freedom and hope.
As hard as leaving Spain in one short month is going to be, I am trusting that the best days are still ahead. For both you and for me. :)
"…every person… has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way…I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently…My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God."
-Donald Miller
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